instagram rant

maybe we are living in an era of precariousness, where everything seems to be lacking: whether it be lacking hope for the future, lacking emotional stability, lacking jobs, lacking the ability to pierce my feet on the ground and not let the aggressive winds of world events and collective worry shake my entire structure. it's an irreversible dance, as we bump into each other in a crowded bar, letting go and starting again, except the lights are not dimmed and most encounters are methodically articulated, no room for drunk and joyful accidents. whenever i feel like the streets are no longer only vehicles that take me places but they are the places themselves, that same dance becomes a comforting act. i come to terms with the precariousness of it all, i let the bright morning light wake me up in the morning, it feels good to be facing a window. maybe a way out is to remember how uncomplicated the sources of my best pleasures are, how green your eyes looked yesterday, how honest i can be with myself after a walk on the beach. i googled it, the antonym of the word precarious is certain. but i dont want to be certain all the time, i want to feast on the shy indulgences that only a precarious setting can feed me. it's like when you're laying in the sun during a hot day and a single cloud covers the sun, as if that cloud somehow knew you desperately needed a couple seconds of shade. i want to dance with that feeling